請點擊下面的鏈接閱讀受問題賭博影響人士的真實故事。所有故事已得到當事人的同意而發布;並且為了保護當事人及其家人的身分,他們個人識別資料已被刪除。

Click on the links below to read real life stories of people affected by problem gambling. Note all stories are published with the consent of the participants and have been de-identified to protect both the participants and their families.


Dolly's Story 

 

Birds flying 各位读者,大家好。我来了澳洲三十年,初期接触赌博,只限于新年。赌场开张后,一班朋友去玩一下,当赌博是一种有趣的娱乐。初来乍到,因为要打拼,没有时间也没有金钱。偶尔去玩下老虎机,也是少额金钱,但是很多时候总会赢少少。

Hello readers, I came to Australia thirty years ago. My initial contact with gambling was only during the Chinese New Year. After the casino opened, my friends and I went there and played on poker machine for fun. As a new comer, I focused on my work and did not have extra money and time to spend on gambling. Occasionally I just gambled small amounts of money. Quite often I had a small win though.

大约在十五年左右,经济开始好些,去的时候也就多了些,但是还不觉得有问题。不知道从什么时候开始,因为工作方面,家庭方面等,心情不好时很自然地就去玩老虎机。觉得在那个环境下,什么烦恼都忘记了。记得有段时间总会中些小奖,心里觉得自己都有些赌运。慢慢地,心情好的时候也会去。去的次数越来越多了,输的金钱也越来越多。也沒有中些什么奖,经常心里不服气,总想拿回输掉的金钱。

About fifteen years ago my financial situation began to get better, the frequency of my gambling increased. I used to gamble whenever I felt bad with my work and my family. Hoping to forget my troubles and bad feelings in the gambling environment, I remember that at that time I always won small amounts of money. With that lucky experience, I started going to gamble no matter whether I felt good or bad. However, the more I gambled, the more I lost. When I lost I always wanted to win the money back. 

最近这些年,一有空就想着去玩老虎机。越玩越上瘾,赌的金额越来越大。看着辛苦挣来的钱和以前存的钱也给老虎机吞掉。心情很低落很内疚自责,晚上不能入睡,一闭上眼睛就是老虎机那吸引人的闪闪灯光和声音,严重影响到平时的工作和生活!

In recent years I have been constantly thinking about playing the poker machine. I have become addicted to it to the point that I lost all my savings. Thinking that all my hard earned money is lost in gaming, I felt depressed! A deep sense of guilt and self-blaming had made me lose sleep for many nights. What I thought about at night when I closed my eyes was the sound and glittering light of poker machine. My gambling addiction seriously affected my usual work and life.

当时心情很焦虑。决定戒赌!曾经试过打戒赌热线电话,去一些机构查询,拿了些资料回来看,跟着去club签自我禁制令。但是一旦遇到各种各样的压力,或者觉得要放松要娱乐时,心思思又想着去。又会找一些新的club, 找不到club, 就会去一些Hotel。每次输了,内心很憎恨自己,但又总是戒不掉,内心很煎熬。

I was keen to stop gambling. I contacted counselling agencies for assistance and was told I could sign up for self-exclusion in person at the club. I did it as advised. But when I felt distressed, or when I wanted some entertainment, I went to gamble at other clubs or hotels. I was afflicted, I hated myself for not being able to control my gambling behavior.

在一次阅报时,偶然看到一个叫多元文化问题赌博辅导服务(MPGS)的小广告。这个MPGS 跟我以前接触的Gambling Help不一样,声称有专人帮助想戒赌的人一次性禁足几十家赌博场所。因为我很想戒赌,但是又不成功,心想一定要试试,马上拨打了电话。接电话的职员非常有礼有耐心地询问了我一些简单的情况,马上安排见面时间。当时打电话我心里还有点忐忑不安,结果通过话之后,害怕的心情一扫而光,我很期待这个约会。

One day I read a little advertisement in the newspaper about the Multicultural Problem Gambling Service (MPGS). It was not the same as the other Gambling Help services I had contacted before as it could provide assistance in taking out multi-venue self exclusion. I did not find it easy to make the call to the service. The staff member who answered my phone was very nice, and my previous worry disappeared instantly. He patiently asked me some simple questions about my situation, and the first appointment was arranged on the spot.


在一个阳光明媚的下午,我怀着忐忑的心情来到了约见的地方,一幢平房坐落在一个环境优美的公园内,非常安静的地方。接待我的心理治疗师非常的有礼,态度和蔼亲切,令我紧张的心情平静许多。

On a sunny afternoon, I went to the appointment feeling tense. The office was located in a quiet and beautiful area. The counsellor was very polite, kind and warm which helped my nervousness.

我开门见山地把我的想法告诉他,我赌老虎机上瘾啦,不想继续下去,不想到老了还有这个不好的习惯,好想戒掉。今天来就是希望一次过把我经常会去的地方全部自我禁足。 他很留心耐心地听完我的话,告诉我第一歩他会按照我的要求在电脑里完成自我禁足。跟着会分多次见面,分析赌博行为,深入了解自己内心深处真正的问题。

I told the counsellor directly that I had a gambling addiction playing on the poker machine. I did not want to continue such bad habit any longer and really wanted to stop. The purpose of my coming was to ban myself from entering all gaming venues where I used to gamble. The counsellor listened to me attentively and patiently. He replied that he could assist me to take out the multi-venue self exclusion first, and then a series of counselling sessions be arranged to help me have in-depth understanding of my own gambling problem.

很快地他帮我完成了禁足多间赌博场所的文件所需,完成后就像闲话家常地聊天。他跟我说,从今天开始,跟赌博行为划上句号!这句话令我充满信心和决心。他一边解释整个戒赌疗程,一边问我一些自身情况。聊天非常之愉快地进行,他问到我一个问题,不知道怎么回事,我突然泪奔,冲口而出的说话吓了自己一跳! 有生以来,从来不知道自己的内心深处会存在问题。泪水止不住地流,过了很久,心情才平复些。奇怪的是,心里难得地从来没有那么轻松过。

After finishing the self exclusion process, the counsellor said to me: “From now on you are going to make a full stop on your gambling behavior!” This statement strengthened my confidence and determination. He explained that it would be expected during the process of counselling that he will ask about my gambling history and my family background. The conversation was carried out in a relaxing and pleasant atmosphere. When the counsellor asked me one particular question about the relationship in my family, I did not know why, my tears started running. I never knew that this might be the underlying cause of my on-going gambling problem. I could not stop my tears streaming down my cheek. After a long time, my mood calmed down. It was strange that my heart became so relaxed afterwards.

第二次见面,治疗师用专业的问卷,生动有趣的谈话,分析了什么是问题赌博,讲解了赌老虎机基本上是不可能赢钱,如果经常去,那么肯定是输家。他用了很多专业知识解析老虎机的构造,从声音和画面令玩家很容易地被吸引住。

In the next session, the counsellor used professional questionnaires, gave an interesting explanation about the nature of problem gambling. With a lot of expert knowledge, he also educated me about poker machines, from the sound effect and the screen display to the psychological models in order to illustrate how the machine was designed to attract players. Evidently, it was basically impossible for players to beat the machine.

每次见面治疗,都是在非常愉快的气氛中进行交流。他帮助我了解自己内心深处,什么原因导致自己迷上赌博。如果想去,又有什么方法约束自己,一步一步地引导我认清自己的行为,认识迷上赌博毁灭性的后果。在见了几次后,我觉得自己已经完全可以戒掉了。心情非常的好,晚上可以安睡,金钱也可以存储了。

Each counselling session was a very pleasant experience. The counsellor helped me understand myself, the inner reasons for my gambling addiction. He also suggested ways to minimize the harm in case I decided to gamble. Step by step he guided me to recognize my gambling behavior and to understand the potential devastating consequences of gambling. After a few months without gambling, I felt that I had stopped the gambling successfully. The feeling was very good, I could sleep well at night and even I could save some money.

直到有朋友从海外来访。那天带着朋友去赌场玩,看到很久没碰的老虎机,心里很得意地想,我可以戒掉你了。朋友走后,自己很想试试自己是否可以控制住。结果一试,自己还是不能控制。跟着下次的见面,我如实告诉治疗师,我的心情很低落,觉得自己无药可救了。也对自己非常的失望。记得问了一个问题,怀疑赌博根本就不能戒掉的,不会成功的。我也很不好意思,别人真心实意地帮助我,结果自己不争气。那种心情真是糟透了!

Friends from overseas came to visit me. One day I took them to the casino as one of the tourist attractions to visit. Looking at the poker machines that I did not play on for many months, I felt proud that I could detach from them finally. After my friends left the casino, I had a strong urge to test my ability to see if I could control my gambling behavior. However, I lost my control after putting money into the machine. I was disappointed with myself that I still could not maintain control. My mood was very low, I thought I was a terrible person. In the following session, I was embarrassed to tell the counsellor about my relapse.

但是他一点都不意外,详细解释戒赌过程中发生的事情。还提出了一些建议,一旦赌瘾上来,用些什么方法让瘾头消失。并且注重于改变自己的心态,改变平时的行为习惯,改变价值观念,培养更好更多的爱好,用好的爱好去取代赌博行为等等。

However, the counsellor was not surprised by my relapse. He explained to me in detail about relapse as part of the recovery process. We also explored and discussed ways to deal with gambling urges. Nevertheless, he did not recommend the idea of self challenging by putting myself in a tempting situation! Main strategies were discussed to change my own mentality, change my thinking, restructure my value system, cultivate better behavior and hobbies, and use good hobbies to replace gambling behavior and so on.

在他的帮助下,我进行了差不多一年的时间的见面治疗。过程中学到了很多知识,最重要的是认识了自己,从根本上改变自己,赌瘾自然便可以戒掉。而不是当初我以为那样,一刀下去,便可以戒掉。过程中出现了反复,但是越来越少,越来越淡,到最后感觉到想到老虎机,都觉得无意思。无兴趣再玩。

I had attended counselling sessions for one year. With his help, I learned a lot. The most important thing was to understand myself and to make a fundamental change in myself, the gambling behavior would fade out gradually. This cessation process was not like “cutting butter”, it was not a quick and easy job. Relapse might happen during the process, but the intensity of gambling urge became weaker and weaker to the point that poker machines attracted me no more. In fact, I found gambling was meaningless; I had no interest to play again.

生活中其实有很多有趣的东西比赌博更吸引。只要我们认清赌博带来的害处---为了这个赌瘾,连尊严都输掉,真的不值得了!

There are many interesting things in life that attract me more than gambling. As long as we realize the harms of gambling on every aspect of life, even on our dignity, it is not worthwhile!

有缘看到这篇文章的读者,希望我的经历对你们有帮助! 不管你们是想自己戒赌还是想帮亲人戒赌,如果想要彻底戒掉,心动不如行动,找MPGS专业人士帮助,肯定得到意想不到的收获!戒赌之后的人生将会有重生的感觉。我觉得自己就像获得新生一样。

If you decided to read this article, no matter whether you are a gambler or you want to help a family member quit gambling, I hope my experience can be helpful to you. If you want to stop gambling completely, please take one further step and contact MPGS for professional help. You may certainly get unexpected reward! Life without gambling is a renewed life. I feel like I am a new person.

 

在此,感谢帮助我的心理治疗师,也感谢多元文化问题赌博服务中心MPGS的服务,令我重获新生!
I would like to say thank you for the help to my counsellor. My thanks also extend to MPGS. Thanks for their help in helping me regain my life!

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Qingcao's Story 青草

 

Mountain climbers offering helping hand to oneanother因為有一個睹徒丈夫,四十幾年婚姻和家庭是困在漫長痛苦處境中。自小朋友稍懂事、每隔三兩天就看到父母打罵,吃飯翻枱、擲風扇椅凳,可隨手的物件都可用作發洩工具,女兒説寧願打罵她們、也不要見那些撼頭埋牆的事。柴米油鹽、水電煤費卻是經常吵鬧的起因。

Because I have a gambling husband, my marriage and family have been struck with sorrow and pain for forty years. Since the children remember, every few days they witnessed their parents blaming/beating each other, turning over the dinner table, throwing things at each other. Any readily available object was used as a tool to vent intense anger. Our two daughters said that they would prefer to be beaten by their parents than to witness that father hit their mother’s head against the wall. Trivial things like rice, salt, water, gas and electricity expenses were the trigger of arguments.

為了孩子的教育及希望丈夫不再賭博而轉換環境的原因下,90年選擇了移民雪梨。以為可以重新開始,卻想不到因信任他將自己的積蓄全部移到澳洲的銀行帳戶內,遲半年抵步後卻發現不翼而飛的輸清了! 那時絕望和不知所措,陌生環境下除了車衣幫補生計外,又重回那些打罵的惡劣循環中。最痛苦是兩個女兒不斷哭喊叫父母不要這樣。有一次對自己母親説要離婚回香港,當時家人認為要替小朋友考慮設想給她們完整的家。父母更即時飛來雪梨幫助我們調解家庭問題,又為我們安居樂業而借出20萬買了房屋,無需做銀行按揭貸款。

In 1990 I chose to migrate to Sydney for a better education for my children and for the environmental change to help my husband to stop gambling. I was hoping my family life will restart over here. I trusted my husband and transferred all my savings from Hong Kong to our joint account in Australia six months before I arrived. I never expected that he will gamble and lose all my savings without my knowing. I was desperate. I started working as a tailor to earn some money for household expenses, but the relationship with my husband was back to blaming and beating as before. My two daughters were in great pain and cried and begged us to stop fighting. I once told my mother about my intention to divorce and go back to Hong Kong. My family did not agree with it and they advised me that because of my two children my top priority was to provide them with an intact family. My family also flew to Sydney immediately and lent us A$200,000 to buy a house.

我一直不知道病態賭徒是什麼! 只是過着等丈夫回家、等出糧處理家用開支的日子,也會氣盛跟丈夫打罵。數不清多少次在街外整夜徘徊,在賭埸、老虎機中尋人。有時痛苦到希望有意外能一死了之。興幸是遇到基督信仰,幫助我整個艱難過程中感受到盼望和出路。知道那些自憐、自怨自艾的伸訴会破壞朋友之間的交往,因此我逐漸學會檢討自己而保持正常的生活。當然對賭徒丈夫的勸告和關心我是無能為力,甚至稍近的距離也會起衝突和他的悪言謾駡。最後我的結論是一個人被賭博罪性困綁時、他已經失掉人性,過著行屍走肉的生活。怎樣去跟他博斗?

I really did not know what does a pathological gambler looks like. I was just living a life of waiting for him at home, waiting for pay day to pay off household expenses, and blaming and beating each other in anger. There were countless occasions when I was wandering in the street all night, following my husband to the casino or in the maze of poker machines. Sometimes I was in so much pain that I just wished I had a sudden accident and died. Fortunately enough my Christian faith gave me hope and sustained me through the difficulties. I was aware that complaining and self-pity destroys friendships, and therefore I gradually learnt how to maintain a normal life. I understood that my advice was just useless effort in his eyes, and any distance would create conflict and verbal abuse between us. Finally, I realized that one can lose his good human nature, and end up living like a zombie when trapped in gambling. My husband’s relationship with gambling was unimaginable; I could not fight with him.


Child\兩個女兒婚後有自己家庭兒女是我最開心和感安慰。她們成長階段雖然目賭父母爭吵打罵,這些經歷更警惕她們珍惜和好好經營他們的婚姻,擺教育兒女在第一位。2016年的元旦,丈夫致電在香港的大女,要求10萬澳元江湖救急,又要我揾律師辦理賣屋,而他要取得屋的一半錢。最後二女借出三萬元給他還貴利數,還要去賭博埸所親手交數確是太難為她了! 但這些幫忙並沒有讓他感到要改變。

I was so delighted to see my two daughters married and have their own family. Poor marital relation with my husband taught them to cherish their own family. They always put their children as top priority. On New Year's Day 2016, my husband called our eldest daughter in Hong Kong and requested her to send him A$100,000 to pay his debt. He also wanted to sell the house and get half of the money. Our youngest daughter in Sydney gave him A$30,000. She took the money to the casino and paid a loan shark. However, the help of our daughter did not stop his gambling.  

16年12月,丈夫再度打電話要凑十多萬澳元還債,當他被堅決拒絕時,所有在港的兩邊家人都被問要錢。我又再面對打駡賣屋離婚的威脅,心裡總是提心吊膽他會用暴力。而他亦告訴二個女兒他會用撞車自殺解決問題。這些恐嚇使家人受騷擾,也擔心我的安全。

In December 2016, he called again and asked for more than A$100,000 to pay off his gambling debt. When he was refused, he asked all the family members in Hong Kong for money. I was again threatened with divorce, violence and forced sell the house. He also told our youngest daughter that he would commit suicide by a car to solve the problem. Such threats unsettled the family, and our two daughters worried about my safety too.

今年2月初,上網搜尋那個機構可以提供輔導幫助,幸運地接上了多元文化問題賭博輔導服務 (MPGS),並且安排了約見。輔導員詳細分析病態賭徒的各種狀況,讓我了解如何才是真正的解決方法,如何保護自己身心不受傷害,期間常告訴兩女兒不要擔心我。MPGS 機構使我們這些被賭博問題所傷害家庭、弱勢的人不孤單,不被羞耻感吞噬。

In early February this year, I searched on the Internet as I wished to get counselling help. Thankfully I got connected to The Multicultural Problem Gambling Service (MPGS) and spoke to a counsellor. In the counselling session, the counsellor provided me detailed analysis of of pathological gamblers. I learnt how to solve my problem effectively and knew how to take care of myself and protect my family from further physical and mental harm. I told my two daughters that they did not need to worry about me. MPGS provides valuable support and assistance to vulnerable families effected by gambling, lest they are alone and being devoured by shame.

幾個月後,在港的兩位弟弟突然飛來悉尼提供意見及幫助,真是像吃了定心丸。我也接受女兒与兩位弟弟的共識,買下他的業權讓他有錢還債。雙方家人也親情勸告他說賭博不單損失金錢,而是家人關係的破壞,今後若他要繼續賭博的話是等於自絕於子孫兒女。一句「不應禍延下一代」暫時有些功效叫他停止賭博,但要一個賭徒洗心革面的改變,是他能否冷静下來,願意主動尋求戒賭幫助。可惜的是他仍不願意這樣做。在這些日子我仍然收到MPGS輔導員的支持和鼓勵。

Few months later, my two brothers from Hong Kong came over to Sydney and offered advice and help. After discussing with family members, I accepted the consensus that the two brothers lend us money to buy my husband’s title of the house, so that he had money to pay his debts to the loan sharks. Family members also reminded him that the potential loss of gambling is not only money, but also family relations. He was also warned that if he continues his gambling, he can expect breaking the connection with his daughters and grandchildren. For a gambler to change and take initiative to seek gambling help depends on whether he can calm down. However, my husband is still not ready to deal with his gambling problem. Nevertheless, I continued to receive the encouragement and support from my counsellor.

當我回顧那幾十年的困擾,真的感激有專為華人而設的戒賭服務。這裡有強大的同理心和親切感可以讓我哭訴、支持我走過這10個月的日子。當有需要要改善婚姻家人關係時,這裡讓我學習相信善待人和接納人是溝通的力量。 最後充滿感激和感謝MPGS的服務,讓賭博中受害人有機會獲得幫助。

Looking back on the distress of the past few decades, I really appreciate the service of gambling help for the Chinese community. In counselling sessions through strong empathetic and gracious support I found a refuge and it sustained me to go through the past 10 months of trouble. When there was a need to improve the marriage and family relationships, I learnt that acceptance and good will is the power of communication. Finally I am grateful and thanks to the MPGS for offering help to those who fall victim to problem gambling.

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